All entries by this author

The Death of My Molester Father

Jul 28th, 2014 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen

I’d known my dad was getting close to the end. Ever since I’d really been facing my sexual abuse, I’d wondered how I’d deal with his impending death. There’s such a fantasy about deathbed reconciliations. Death makes us consider what’s really important in life—love and the people close to us.

After a six year estrangement, I didn’t follow the advice of well-meaning people to “let bygones be bygones” before it was too late. I couldn’t buy into the “he won’t be around forever” threat. It reminds me of a high-pressure sales pitch, “Hurry! This deal won’t last!!!” But what kind of an offer is that? The advertised version of the last moments with my dad would be bittersweet but fulfilling, but based on my dad’s history, that’s not what I’d really be buying.



Exposing the Incest Family Secrets

Nov 19th, 2013 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

When I started writing publicly about my healing from sexual abuse, I did it to validate my own history and journey and to inspire hope in other survivors. It’s been wonderfully empowering to record my triumphs and to share the process with thousands of fellow journeyers.

However, being so public about such intimate feelings and experiences has been costly. For the most part, I count it a bargain compared with the expense of silence, but that resolve isn’t always very convenient or comfortable.

One of the recent costs for being so vocal is a lawsuit from my parents. They are suing me for defamation of character and emotional distress. Through their case, they want to shut down OSA and silence my voice.

In the minds of my parents, they are the victims; I am the abuser.



Casting Off the Shame of Sexual Abuse

Aug 11th, 2013 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

I was twenty-two. I’d been married five years when I confessed to my husband that I’d been having an affair. While he decided if he wanted to stay with me, I went to stay with my parents.

The day I arrived to my parents’ house, I sat in one corner of their living room while my mom and dad sat in the opposite corner. The living room was mostly used as a pass through to get from the front door to the rest of the house. But on this day, I wasn’t allowed entrance to the rest of the house quite yet. I don’t remember anything specific that they said, but the message was, “How could you turn out so bad when you came from such a good family?”



The Lie of “Letting It Go”

Dec 16th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen My lifetime of abuse gave me the feeling of being the constant target of a nameless, faceless bully. Unable to conceal my terror or prevent whimpers from escaping, every sign of protest fed his lust for more suffering. He was never satisfied; the more he saw the pain he inflicted, the greater [...]



Confronting My Abuser

Oct 7th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen I didn’t actually plan to confront my dad. I didn’t think it would do me any good. This is what I wrote a few years ago: “My dad has displayed his selfishness for as long as I’ve known him.  I’m not under some delusion that he’ll suddenly develop a conscience and confess [...]



Perpetuating the Abusive Cycle

Sep 23rd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen When I discovered that my husband was sexually abusing my daughter, I went to what I thought was the highest authority—our pastor. In our church, if something wasn’t Christian, it wasn’t to be trusted. Secular authorities like the police were inferior because they didn’t know God or his will. When my husband [...]



It’s Not About You, Mom

Aug 26th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen Yesterday was my 46th birthday. Birthdays prompt me to reflect on my life—where I’ve come from and where I am now. Some of those thoughts included the woman who gave birth to me. My mother walked out of my life a few years ago and adamantly denies that my father sexually abused [...]



The Truth About My Abuser’s Threats

Jul 8th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen When I was ten, I wet my pants in school. We were taking a very long test and our instructions were to remain silent at our seats. No talking, no asking questions, no moving around. Since that ruled out raising my hand to ask to go to the bathroom, and I wasn’t [...]



I Blamed Myself For My Abuse Since I Didn’t Tell

May 24th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen When my daughter was nineteen and her father and I were in the middle of a divorce, she shared the horrible truth about what her dad had been doing to her for most of her life. As I tried to wrap my head around the fact that I had been completely blind [...]



Why I Talk About My Childhood Abuse Over and Over

May 12th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen When I used to talk about my childhood sexual abuse, I heard familiar accusations: “You just want attention” or “Nobody likes a crybaby.” As I poured out the same story again and again to my friends, I felt guilty for wasting their time. I believed that there was a rule that I [...]