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Exposing the Incest Family Secrets

Nov 19th, 2013 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen

When I started writing publicly about my healing from sexual abuse, I did it to validate my own history and journey and to inspire hope in other survivors. It’s been wonderfully empowering to record my triumphs and to share the process with thousands of fellow journeyers.

However, being so public about such intimate feelings and experiences has been costly. For the most part, I count it a bargain compared with the expense of silence, but that resolve isn’t always very convenient or comfortable.

One of the recent costs for being so vocal is a lawsuit from my parents. They are suing me for defamation of character and emotional distress. Through their case, they want to shut down OSA and silence my voice.

In the minds of my parents, they are the victims; I am the abuser.



Casting Off the Shame of Sexual Abuse

Aug 11th, 2013 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen

I was twenty-two. I’d been married five years when I confessed to my husband that I’d been having an affair. While he decided if he wanted to stay with me, I went to stay with my parents.

The day I arrived to my parents’ house, I sat in one corner of their living room while my mom and dad sat in the opposite corner. The living room was mostly used as a pass through to get from the front door to the rest of the house. But on this day, I wasn’t allowed entrance to the rest of the house quite yet. I don’t remember anything specific that they said, but the message was, “How could you turn out so bad when you came from such a good family?”



Reclaiming My Self After Sexual Abuse

Dec 23rd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Caden Ceirdris

When I was twelve, I watched the sexually graphic teen film, “Kids” with my siblings. I remember being surprised when my sister described what happened in the end scene as rape. That it was rape to have sex with someone who was passed out, asleep.

It seems obvious, but in some unconscious part of my mind, I winced. What had been done to me might have been wrong too. Perhaps I also deserved boundaries, both legal and personal over my own body, at least equal to what my sister was willing to give a fictional girl. Yet there was no one in my life at that point who would have even suggested that, let alone validated my experience; I was trained to passively accept whatever my family did to me, and was condescended to when it came to my emotions.

I wasn’t asleep when my older brother sexually abused me, and as I’ve had to face the reality of my past, I came to realize that the rest of the family wasn’t either. They were conscious, they knew what was happening. Often only thin walls separated them from the abuse, but they built up greater walls in their minds to avoid my …



The Lie of “Letting It Go”

Dec 16th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen My lifetime of abuse gave me the feeling of being the constant target of a nameless, faceless bully. Unable to conceal my terror or prevent whimpers from escaping, every sign of protest fed his lust for more suffering. He was never satisfied; the more he saw the pain he inflicted, the greater [...]



Dysfunctional Family Holiday Survival Tips

Nov 20th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Articles

by Christina Enevoldsen with Bethany Ruck When I remember holidays with my family, I think of stress. The image that comes to mind is everyone else laughing and having a great time, while I was miserable. I don’t remember many holidays as a child, but as an adult, holidays used to be times of emotional [...]



Confronting My Abuser

Oct 7th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen I didn’t actually plan to confront my dad. I didn’t think it would do me any good. This is what I wrote a few years ago: “My dad has displayed his selfishness for as long as I’ve known him.  I’m not under some delusion that he’ll suddenly develop a conscience and confess [...]



Domestic Violence: Why Did I Stay?

Sep 30th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Patty's Blog

by Patty Hite Everything I did was for my husband.  Any ideas or suggestions on my part would end in Bill physically or emotionally abusing me.  I always felt my life depended on making a perfect meal.  When he didn’t like it, he would knock me out of my chair and force me to eat [...]



Perpetuating the Abusive Cycle

Sep 23rd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Christina's Blog

by Christina Enevoldsen When I discovered that my husband was sexually abusing my daughter, I went to what I thought was the highest authority—our pastor. In our church, if something wasn’t Christian, it wasn’t to be trusted. Secular authorities like the police were inferior because they didn’t know God or his will. When my husband [...]



Why It’s Important to Heal My Own Way

Sep 15th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Patty's Blog

by Patty Hite

When I started on my healing journey, I wanted someone to just give me the answers, show me the way and tell me what to do. I wanted to be taken care of because I didn’t have the confidence to take care of myself.

There wasn’t anyone to talk to or to show me how so I turned to books. There were only a few library books on abuse, and even fewer books about healing. Most of what I found were stories from survivors. In their stories, they wrote about what they did to heal.

Most of them went to therapists and I felt defeated because I couldn’t go to one. I came from a very small town and there were no therapists or counselors. Even if there had been, I wouldn’t have been able to afford it and I honestly don’t think I would have told anyone else…



Profile of an Abusive Family

Sep 2nd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Don Enevoldsen I normally don’t comment on OSA since Christina and I often discuss the subject matter of her posts and the limited contributions I could make, when relevant, are reflected in her words. This time, I want to add some thoughts from a perspective few others could have. The comment posted by Christina’s [...]