inner child

Removing the Shame From My Inner Child

Removing the Shame From My Inner Child

by Christina Enevoldsen

When I was seven, I started classes in preparation for my First Communion. Communion is an expression of unity with Christ. Girls dress up like brides in white dresses and veils, symbolizing their purity.

While planning for the day, I insisted to my mother that I couldn’t wear white. Normally, compliant and well-behaved, I absolutely refused.

Reluctantly, my mother took me to Sears and we found a beautiful powder blue dress. I didn’t look like the rest of the girls, but at least I wasn’t lying to God by presenting myself as pure and holy. God knew what I was; there was no hiding it from him.

How I Got Back My Lost Childhood After Sexual Abuse

How I Got Back My Lost Childhood After Sexual Abuseby Christina Enevoldsen

I could never take a vacation for more than four days. I didn’t understand how people could be happy just “wasting time” or how they could prefer fun and games over tangible results. Hard work was my fun.

It was frustrating when my son and daughter were young and I tried to get “important” things done while they wanted me to watch their new ball-catching skills or to admire their fingerpainting.

As they got a little older, I learned that good parenting required nurturing a child’s emotional needs, which meant “entering into his or her world”. I really wanted to be a good mother, so I did my best to engage in play, to enjoy the moment. But all the time, I watched the clock and thought, “I wonder if they’ve had enough”.