by Bethany Ruck I was ten years old when I blurted out my dark secret to my mom: I fantasized about dying tragically. Before I could finish detailing exactly how I wanted my body to be found, she interrupted me with, “Bethany, don’t ever say that again!” So I shut my mouth. I wanted to [...]

by Bethany Ruck A friend of mine used to be a stand-in on a network show. While the actors were in their trailers, he stood in front of the camera. He was examined from every angle while the crew perfected the lighting and worked out the camera positions before filming. But when the time came [...]

by Christina Enevoldsen When my daughter was eight years old, she spent the night at a friend’s house. She and her friend spent hours swimming in their community pool and Bethany came home with her face, arms and legs red and burning. I was irate that the girl’s mother allowed Bethany to be exposed to [...]

by Patty Hite I recently moved from Florida to Ohio. My husband and I thought it would be a great move. I was raised in Ohio, so I was ready and willing to move back. He is ill and wanted me to be around my family. It was a hard move. The dream that it [...]

by Christina Enevoldsen When I was ten, a psychologist who worked for the school district took me out of class to talk to me. I had always known there was something wrong with me; I knew I was different, marked in some way. I was sure that when people looked at me, they recognized that [...]

by Christina Enevoldsen Just a note: Sometimes I believe things because they are true; other times I believe things because an alternate truth would be painful. One of the indications that I’m invested in a particular belief as a coping method is that I defend that ‘truth’ as though my life is threatened. When I [...]

by Bethany Ruck Birthdays usually mean surprises. I remember one particular birthday en route to our destination I was lead into a dark room and without warning, all of my closest friends popped out shouting my praises. I was so taken aback. Immediately my defenses went up. This should have been a happy moment, but [...]

by Patty Hite Writing was easy for me. My mother encouraged me to write.  When I was a young child, I remember shopping with her, looking for perfect pieces of stationary. Money was tight so I cherished each piece.  I cut up used birthday and holiday cards to make my own books to write in. [...]

by Nikki Stone “I use to think that keeping up with my appearances mattered.  However, I have seen what age does to the body and quiet frankly I can’t run fast enough to keep up with such appearances.  So I have settled to frighten myself every morning when I get up to look in the [...]

by Christina Enevoldsen, Chris Kuhn & Ron Schulz Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse believe their family to be supportive and nurturing—until they talk about their abuse. They are surprised to be rejected, ignored, ostracized or even threatened with violence. Ron Schulz, Chris Kuhn and I (Christina Enevoldsen) discussed how we managed our feelings and [...]