All entries by this author

My Journey From Devastation to Restoration After Sexual Abuse

Aug 18th, 2014 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

I’d finally hit bottom. There was nowhere else to go. The reality I didn’t want to face was now in my face. I’d spent the best part of ten years running away from the pain of my sexual abuse. Finally, at twenty-two years old, my past caught up with me when I had a nervous breakdown and ended up being hospitalised.

It was a succession of bad events and years of avoiding my past that left me at my lowest ebb. My sister told me that she had found suggestive pictures of my mum, dad and nan. I felt sick to my stomach. This revelation made me feel like I was part of some sick child abuse ring and confirmed all my worst fears that they had known all along what my dad was doing. That same week, someone sent me a card on my birthday saying very derogatory things. It was malicious and sent me into a deep depression.

I could not cope and felt worthless. I ended up cutting myself very badly. I just wanted to die. I wanted the pain to go away.

I thought I was a bad person to have ended up being hospitalised. What had I done to deserve this?



Reclaiming My Self After Sexual Abuse

Dec 23rd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Caden Ceirdris

When I was twelve, I watched the sexually graphic teen film, “Kids” with my siblings. I remember being surprised when my sister described what happened in the end scene as rape. That it was rape to have sex with someone who was passed out, asleep.

It seems obvious, but in some unconscious part of my mind, I winced. What had been done to me might have been wrong too. Perhaps I also deserved boundaries, both legal and personal over my own body, at least equal to what my sister was willing to give a fictional girl. Yet there was no one in my life at that point who would have even suggested that, let alone validated my experience; I was trained to passively accept whatever my family did to me, and was condescended to when it came to my emotions.

I wasn’t asleep when my older brother sexually abused me, and as I’ve had to face the reality of my past, I came to realize that the rest of the family wasn’t either. They were conscious, they knew what was happening. Often only thin walls separated them from the abuse, but they built up greater walls in their minds to avoid my …



Domestic Violence: Why Did I Stay?

Sep 30th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Patty Hite Everything I did was for my husband.  Any ideas or suggestions on my part would end in Bill physically or emotionally abusing me.  I always felt my life depended on making a perfect meal.  When he didn’t like it, he would knock me out of my chair and force me to eat […]



Why It’s Important to Heal My Own Way

Sep 15th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Patty Hite

When I started on my healing journey, I wanted someone to just give me the answers, show me the way and tell me what to do. I wanted to be taken care of because I didn’t have the confidence to take care of myself.

There wasn’t anyone to talk to or to show me how so I turned to books. There were only a few library books on abuse, and even fewer books about healing. Most of what I found were stories from survivors. In their stories, they wrote about what they did to heal.

Most of them went to therapists and I felt defeated because I couldn’t go to one. I came from a very small town and there were no therapists or counselors. Even if there had been, I wouldn’t have been able to afford it and I honestly don’t think I would have told anyone else…



Profile of an Abusive Family

Sep 2nd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Don Enevoldsen I normally don’t comment on OSA since Christina and I often discuss the subject matter of her posts and the limited contributions I could make, when relevant, are reflected in her words. This time, I want to add some thoughts from a perspective few others could have. The comment posted by Christina’s […]



Male Childhood Sexual Abuse: Suffering in Silence

Feb 3rd, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Gordon DeLand I have been silenced, me and my trouble. I first silenced myself in shame, not even knowing exactly why, but somehow… it was wrong, what had just happened. And I knew it. I looked for a friend but got something else. The trust I had put in him had been violated, shattered. […]



Standing Up For Myself: Reclaiming My Self-Worth

Jan 16th, 2012 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Penny Smith Sometimes in the healing process it feels like I’m not making much progress. Then something will happen that helps me see just how far I’ve come. That was the case recently during a run-in with some abusive people. They tried to dump a lot on me—criticisms and false accusations. In the past, […]



Domestic Violence: The Signs I Missed

Dec 11th, 2011 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Patty Hite The day we got married, Bill greeted me in our kitchen with a slap across the face that was so hard it knocked me to the floor. He grabbed my hair and dragged me into the bedroom where he raped me. Afterward, he told me that now I belonged to him and […]



The Secret About My Abuse I Was Too Ashamed To Tell

Nov 27th, 2011 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Jennifer Stuck When I first started opening up about my childhood sexual abuse, I felt like I was carrying a deep dark secret that made me different from other survivors. It was the part of my story I always skipped over when talking about my abuse—something I could barely admit to myself, let alone […]



Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse: It’s No Game

Nov 13th, 2011 | By | Category: All Posts, Guest Blog

by Jennifer Stuck Still to this day, anytime I hear the phrases “playing doctor” or “show-and-tell,” I feel a shiver run down my spine. Only recently have I realized that this is because my mother used those phrases to make light of my abuse from an older neighbor boy. She would even speak to other […]