Comments on: Serving Others Was a Disservice To Me

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 06:11:34 +0000

Peggy,
It’s so refreshing to have a healthy response from someone who knows my parents. Even for those who believe Bethany and me, a common response is disgust and judgment toward us for “airing our dirty laundry” or for “touching the anointed” or for “dishonoring our parents”. Thankfully, none of those types of responses deter us from continuing to share the truth. The truth is more than just the experiences of our past, the truth is that there is freedom and healing in spite of the past. But first, there is compassion. So thank you for sharing your compassion.
Christina

By: Peggy R.

Peggy R. — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 17:18:56 +0000

Oh, Christina, I just read a little bit on Bethany’s blog and I am grief stricken for both of you. I know you both are on the healing road, but to a bystander like me, just getting knowledge of these crimes, I am in shock and so very sickened and grieved. My prayers are with you all.
peggy

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:40:42 +0000

Mary,
I’ve had times when I felt very much the same way. I felt SO cheated out of a “normal” life and desperately wanted the abuse and all its effects to go away. I’ve done a lot of grieving and still do when I get to another level of understanding more loss.

I’m glad in spite of how you feel, you still haven’t given up. There’s no way I’m giving up either. Sure, I’ve lost a lot, but I’m damn well NOT going to lose any more by giving up. Healing hasn’t been easy, but it’s productive and I’m encouraged by the fruit and that keeps me going. Yay for all of us whole keep going!
Christina

By: Mary Bagnaschi

Mary Bagnaschi — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:04:15 +0000

Yes, this is All me, too. And it bothers me to read about it and write it. I feel the desperation of just wanting it to end and be over like while I was being assaulted. I left my body and parts of me never came back until just the past few years, then it was like, how do I incorporate a shattered 7 yr old, 14 yr. old and 19 year old, nurture, love and care for all of these aspects of myself that went hiding during very traumatic experiences. How do you do that and continue to be a responsible adult, single parent, raising two teenagers during this period of extreme flooding and forced healing through trauma after trauma. I don’t know how, i am still in this stage and it is beyond measure difficult and all I want to do is cry and cry but I have to go on and sometimes I don’t even want to, I’m tired of having to do the ‘Courage to heal’ thing all my life! Every time I had a break through in my recovery and I discovered more of the lost soul that went hiding, I would be relieved and victorious, thinking I made it, only to find that there were dozens of more layers to be stripped until I was left at the core, ground zero, and alone!!!! Now what? same thing I have always done, get up and do it again and again, there is no end, no final test to take so I can graduate, I got screwed and lost my childhood, poisoned every relationship I ever had, lost most of my adult life while I functioned through disassociation. I look at pictures of me, or read stuff I wrote, I can’t believe it! I survived! If I did not have three beautiful children, I would have given up a long time ago.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:42:15 +0000

Mae,
I know how hard self-care is after abuse and it’s even more challenging within an abusive relationship. I hope you’re able to get to the bottom of your own issues and give yourself the nurturing you deserve. Thanks for commenting!
Christina

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:35:33 +0000

Sandra,
Thank you. I’ve had several friends along the way who I’ve been able to share with. Some of them were survivors of sexual abuse and some not. The thing that helps me most is listening to myself, which is true whether I’m talking to myself or to a friend. Lots of truth comes out that way.
Christina

By: mae

mae — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:48:06 +0000

continually amazed at how well you articulate these crucial issues. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out to help us all. I’ve been struggling with “self-care” for the past two years while being in therapy and support groups for my abusive marriage.

Thanks so much.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:11:59 +0000

It’s kind of unbelievable that you have learned so incredibly much without therapy. Have you had friends you could share this deeply with for a long time? Were they victims, as well? I’m stunned by what I read on this site, and there’s no therapists involved. Very, very impressive.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:34:11 +0000

Michelle,
It’s so sad that so many of us don’t recognize our own value and live in a cycle of doing, doing, doing. But we’re getting out! Yay!
Christina

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:31:24 +0000

Cassy,
I did that too! I used to give everything away.

I LOVE your declaration, ” I belong at the top of at least one persons prioriety list, and that one person has to be me.” YES, how true that is! Thank you for sharing that.
Christina