Comments on: The Truth About Blame

By: Wendy

Wendy — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 14:14:47 +0000

When I read your words I feel like reading my own life…
It’s painfull and comforting at the same time..

I’ve always felt guilty for what happened to me, and I have tried so hard to even out my debt. I really did believe I was worthless, and deserved nothing better… I’ve struggled for years already, and most of the time I’m happy and grateful for all the good I have in my life. But so scared I could lose it all again because of my own stupid mistakes.

I wanted to thank you for this article… It is an eye-opener to me. I’ve always felt guilt, even though my friends tell me I’m not to blame. Now I see why I have taken on this feeling… a desperate attempt to control what happened, hope to turn it around… I’ve fooled myself…

I feel a lot lighter now… thank you!
My deepest respect for your courage and your strenght in overcoming this.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 06:36:44 +0000

Dawn,
I understand feeling stuck in accepting the blame. That’s where I was for years. I’m glad you’re seeing the truth too!
Christina

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 23:34:48 +0000

Thank you for putting in to words the struggle I have been having. You describe exactly in so many ways the things I am thinking, feeling and taking on. I have been searching for healing and have been stuck in the dilemma of thinking it was my fault, I deserved it all and I am the common denominator in all of my traumas. I realize now that in some instances I am responsible for parts but not the total. Again, thank you.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:03:09 +0000

Michelle,
I truly understand how hard it is NOT to accept the blame. The difficulty in throwing off the blame even makes it seem more convincing that we are to blame. I’m glad you’re working through that. Thanks for sharing!
Christina

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:58:18 +0000

Still Struggling,
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement! I hope you can see how blameless you were in your abuse and can accept the love and caring that you deserve. I’m glad you’re here.
Christina

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:52:43 +0000

Sharon,
Your comment really struck me, “Reading your thoughts about ‘Blame’ has conected with a part of me that was allways looking for reassurance and comfort. I always felt that ‘i’ was to blame for the actions of those whom harmed me.”

I used to believe that if I was at fault for some kind of injury to myself, I didn’t deserve comfort for that. Even if that something I did was an accident or something I “allowed”, I had to forfeit all compassion from myself or others. Since I accepted the blame for my abuse and thought I allowed it, I couldn’t have compassion about that. Now I know I was completely innocent from my abuse and can comfort myself for it and I’ve stopped having such harsh judgments about what I don’t deserve. Thanks for sharing your feelings about that!
Christina

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 06:03:28 +0000

Thanks for this article. I started counseling today because sexual abuse from my first boyfriend is negatively affecting my current, healthy relationship. I even had a dream that my current boyfriend raped me. The subconscious can be so cruel. My counselor today made me realize I’ve been blaming myself for it. Even though I didn’t want any of it, I feel at fault. I’m having a hard time moving the blame where it belongs, but I’m hoping I can get there!

By: Still struggling

Still struggling — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:32:54 +0000

That you for writing this. I adore your writing and I find it so profound and intelligent. You’ve helped me trough so much just by reading this. I’ve blamed myself everyday to the point where cutting became routine. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused for as long as I can remember by multiple people. You have a gift with connecting with people and or that I am grateful. Thank you.

By: sharon

sharon — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 19:42:15 +0000

Reading your thoughts about ‘Blame’ has conected with a part of me that was allways looking for reassurance and comfort. I always felt that ‘i’ was to blame for the actions of those whom harmed me. Feeling this re-affirmed what my perpertraters told me as I began to realise their behaviour was wrong…I often was told, ‘dont tell, noone will believe you’ , ‘you deserve this’ , and therefore it was easier to blame myself than to acknowlegde the’ wrong doing’ of another. To find my voice to speak-up was overcome by the threat of being abandond, so I never told (until recently); as a child I learnt to protect those whom harmed me and live their secret lie’s.
As an adult and a mother, I have provided my children with ‘what I never had’, the experience of being loved with absolutely, no type of abuse from myself. Being a ‘good’ parent, is what every childs righfully deserves to have and in forfilling this responssibility it has helped me give comfort to the lost child within

By: The Secret About My Abuse I Was Too Ashamed To Tell - Overcoming Sexual Abuse

The Secret About My Abuse I Was Too Ashamed To Tell - Overcoming Sexual Abuse — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 17:41:29 +0000

[...] Posts: The Truth About Blame Child-on-Child Abuse: It’s No Game Getting to the Truth: The Role of Truth in Our [...]