Comments on: My Support System Is Led By Me

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 07:43:41 +0000

I cried when i read this, I’ve started therapy recently because I too had the same feelings. There must be something terribly wrong with me. I must be a horrible failure. Some loser who no one likes and everyone see’s as ugly and unloveable and disgusting and annoying. Only recently have I seen that I have been looking at myself through the eyes of my abusers. I too have chosen to surround myself with abusive relationships over and over knowing nothing but codependency. I’m working hard to develop new habits, it’s challenging and I’m finding it challenging to set boundaries especially with family. I don’t have allot of memories of my abuse I have allot of holes in my memories and I can’t say I want to know. It’s really wonderful to read this and to see that I’m not alone and that I am validated in feeling that it’s not me that I have every right to finally realize that I’m the one choosing flawed relationships not that I’m unloveable.

By: Jennifer Stuck

Jennifer Stuck — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 22:30:35 +0000

Sharon it does get better with time and effort. I think it’s great you’re allowing yourself to feel these difficult emotions. Letting the pain out (feeling it and expressing it) is the best way I’ve found to feel better. Like running through a fire to get to safety.

By: sharon

sharon — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:59:46 +0000

Jennifer your words make so much sense, I only hope I can get to that healing place. It only seems like the begining for me, for many years I struggled to identify with my inner pain. I unknowly detached myself from being and feeling the terrible pain of abuse that i endured as a child. As an adult, I too got involved in unhealthy relationships, its only now that I am begining to understand why! At the moment I feel so consummed with allowing myself to get intouch with and feel my pain, of those who harmed me. The intensity of pain can be often difficult to bare, does this ease with time?

By: Jennifer Lynne Stuck

Jennifer Lynne Stuck — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:58:49 +0000

Journey, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to your comment. I think it’s a healthy reaction to be bothered by abuse, but your emotional reaction is more than likely tied to your past abuse. It’s good that you allowed yourself to cry for that little girl. In a way, you were crying for yourself and the pain you experienced as a child. That’s how I started connecting with my emotions about my abuse and soon I could directly say “I feel sad”, or “I feel angry” about what happened to me.

By: Why Was I Afraid of Healing From Sexual Abuse? - Overcoming Sexual Abuse

Why Was I Afraid of Healing From Sexual Abuse? - Overcoming Sexual Abuse — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 02:52:09 +0000

[...] Related Posts: Overcoming Sexual Abuse: My Healing or My Marriage? Is Overcoming Sexual Abuse Really Possible? My Healing Journey: Stumbling and Getting Back Up Forget About It? My Support System is Led By Me [...]

By: Journey

Journey — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:13:21 +0000

I love what you wrote Jennifer about loving ones self and being able to pick and choose people that deserve to be close. I was molested as a child. By different ages of the male gender. I don’t know why, but people I was supposed to trust always found it convenient to do something hurtful and shocking to me. I never told anyone. I always felt I’d be blamed for it. Now I’m all grown up, a mother of three. Still carrying the memories of the shocking and hurful experiences during my childhood. I’ve never gotten therapy, but I find that the issue of rape is very upsetting to me. I was wondering if it was just me, because of my experiences, or if its the same for all women. I would quickly switch to another channel if a movie is about someone being raped, etc. I wont want to listen to any issues pertaining to rape. My husband once told me about a little girl admitted to his hospital for psych problems, she was eight, and her step dad had raped her since she was four. I did not know this little girl, but the story upset me so much that I cried and cried. My husband was perplexed at my reaction. Truely, I was too. So I dont know if its an effect of my bad experiences or if all women would react like that.
Its quite important to start from within oneself. There is power that can be taken from within to build self esteem and self worth. Like Jennifer says, love yourself. I find that I do not need anyone because I have self acceptance, so it does not really matter what the next person thinks. That way, I cant fall prey to abusers who have no love for me and only wish to use their power over me and manipulate me any evil way they wish.

By: My Fear of Being Alone - Overcoming Sexual Abuse

My Fear of Being Alone - Overcoming Sexual Abuse — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:44:53 +0000

[...] My Support System Is Led By Me [...]

By: Jennifer Stuck

Jennifer Stuck — Sun, 22 May 2011 22:42:46 +0000

Nico I’m so glad you liked the blog and that things are going so well with your new therapist. Sounds like you are on a good track with your healing. Thanks for commenting!

By: Nico

Nico — Thu, 12 May 2011 13:22:51 +0000

Jennifer, this makes so much sense to me. And I have been depending too much on others. But, I am trying to learn to be more self-consoling and self-dependent. CLINGING…that is me. Well, that WAS me. I am learning to be different. Thank you so much for giving me the link to you post. It makes total sense to me. I put my other therapist up on a pedestal. But, what is sad is that HE LIKED IT. I think it made him feel needed. I cannot go in to all the details here…but last night after a session with my ‘new’ therapist (I have been seeing her for about 6 months) I was finally able to write about what happened on my blog and cry about the loss and feel angry…instead of blaming myself. I really need to work on my fear of getting close to others…especially my current therapist. Because I really think she is different and has a totally different way of viewing D.I.D. and life in general. Thanks again.

By: Jennifer Lynne Stuck

Jennifer Lynne Stuck — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 23:52:50 +0000

Vicki I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think it is valuable to talk about all of your memories. Each one might have different emotions tied to it and different issues that need to be addressed.