Comments on: Microwave Healing: I Want To Feel Better NOW

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 14:59:05 +0000

Lex,

The only way I have been able to find happiness with myself was to face the flashbacks from my abuse. When I was abused, even as a child, I learned how to cope with the pain thru out my life. My emotions were hidden, especially anger, and I neglected myself. I felt unworthy because of the abuse. In order to heal I had to revisit those times and show myself that I am safe now, it is ok to be angry and I have a right to feel the pain of it. I write about it, talk about it and grieve, cry and do what ever I need to in order to face the pain of what I have been thru. As far as sharing these things with my husband, I do it so he can support me. Him being a part of your pain helps him to understand just how traumatic it was.

We can try to put these things behind us, but the truth is, that they will never go away and I’ve found that by facing them, it helps me to gain power over them. Instead of being afraid, I can now see that I didn’t deserve to be abused.

By: Lex

Lex — Sun, 11 Nov 2012 04:11:58 +0000

So my story started in high school. We ended up in a relationship that was filled with manipulation. He did everything he could to convince me I was less than him or that because I didn’t want to do these things, it meant I didn’t love him. All I wanted was my fairy tale, to be loved and respected. Our time was filled with abusing me sexually, mentally and some physical abuse. I kept trying to make excuses by saying deep down there was a good person. Now, 7 years later, married to a wonderful man, I’m starting to be consumed by the memories. Waking up my husband because I’m having nightmares, and days filled with uncontrollable lows. I continuously pick at all the things that are wrong with me. I hate feeling this way, I hate that my husband is having to deal with the fallout from the torment I was put through. How do I put things behind me and stop being so angry. Not just for my husband but for my own happiness with myself?

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:10:20 +0000

Malachi,

I agree: ” I personally am proud of my progressive healing, even as an advocate. I find it makes others feel comfortable knowing we are all “healed and being healed” rather than that there is some level to reach that i unattainable to them”

Healing means changing and I am happy to change everyday if needed. I’ve told others that they can “be healed” anytime they want, but thinking that way will only cause them to miss out on the chance to change. So, I prefer, “I’m still healing.”

Thanks for sharing. Patty

By: Malachi

Malachi — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 17:39:11 +0000

I agree, healing is truly a progressive and perpetual process that is unique to each person. No two people are exactly the same and no two abuse scenarios are the same or cause the same emotional, physical, mental and spiritual after-effects. Thus, the healing process is very different for everyone. I personally am proud of my progressive healing, even as an advocate. I find it makes others feel comfortable knowing we are all “healed and being healed” rather than that there is some level to reach that i unattainable to them. With that being said, I applaud your honesty an openness. Blessings!

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 13:24:45 +0000

Rose,

I’m glad you liked it and please share. Glad you have a support group, too. They are the best!!! Patty

By: Rose

Rose — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:43:12 +0000

Thanx Pattie! I love your post. I think it explains in a great and simple way what it means to heal. If you dont mind, I will share it with the woman I follow in my theme group for Sexual abuse and assault victims.

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 00:26:00 +0000

Karla,

I wish I could do something to help you. And being unable to talk to someone is so hard. Are there any survivor’s groups near you? I would also like to invite you to our facebook page. Overcoming Sexual Abuse. it’s a way to connect with other Survivors. People who understand and can help. If you don’t want your name posted, you can use a false name. But I know it’s important to be able to connect with people who understand. I love it and it’s helped me so much.

it may help you Karla. Get your mind off of some of the pain you are feeling and also validate that others understand how you feel. You are important and your feelings are important. I care and there are others who care. When we don’t have family to hold us up and talk to, we need others who will. I have seen many who feel the way you do right now, change and be happy and are able to see the light of day.

I’m hoping for you and believing in you. Please take care of yourself. Do something for you. You are valuable. Patty

By: Karla

Karla — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:57:58 +0000

Patty ,
thank you so much for your compassion and kind words . thank god for your web site i think its kepted me sain for the most part and for my courage to write my books my family doesnt want me to post our ”dirty laundry in my books, but its my way of healing i have to heal or i feel like i will die . and this week my depression makes me feel i am near death , and for a very long time ive hidden my feeling of wanting to really die . so i try to talk to my self and keep those death thoughts away .. i dont know how to talk about all of it its more than just my childhood abuse its the things ive had to go threw with my new marrage i feel so alone with all ive had to face in 6 years of marrage , i just feel this rock(me) is cracking with depression i just cant hol my family up any more all ive had to go threw my husband got hurt one year after we married and so many things ive lost . i just feel i dnt have it for him holding him up with all weve both had to face . theres just so much i cant talk about with him fighting workers comp. theres just so much stress i have no one to talk to about any of this . i cant see my councler i used to talk to becalse of money . i just pray every day to wake up a better day , i keep saying its got to get better than this .ive just been so depressed i cant dig out of it . i keep reminding my self ive got my daughter to live for and my husband and most of all writting my next books . i just feel like i am drowing in the big ocean and all ive have but a little floatie . thanks for your kind words if you pray keep me in your prayers iam not in it for a pitty party but my deperssion is so bad i cant see day light thanks

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 11:01:09 +0000

Karla,

I’m so sorry that you are feeling so depressed.

When those who are suppose to love and nurture us, don’t, there is a sadness that happens and it can be so deep. The little chiild inside of us grieves. And when we are adults, we are still grieving for what should have been.

There are times I used to get depressed because of my family. It hurts when they don’t validate my abuse and be comforting and loving. Instead, they want me to get over it. But, they don’t want me to get over it for me, they want me to stop talking about it, because of them. They don’t want to hear it. And that saddens me at times. I am getting better when confronted like that from them. Because now, I get angry. And that is ok. I need to be angry about my abuse. And I need to be angry that my family doesn’t care.

Being angry helped me with depression and sadness. It doesn’t mean I scream and holler at them, I just scream and holler at things that won’t get hurt. Pillows, a tree I can kick. I have also written about my anger and my sadness and how I was unjustly treated. That helps me a lot. I have to get it out. I write letters to them. I don’t mail them, but there is a freedom in telling them exactly how I feel.

I would also like to invite you to our Facebook page. It’s a support group with lots of help and full of other Survivors who feel the same way you do. Being able to talk about our pain and the things we are going thru with others who understand can be a great help.

I also believe that trying to hide the pain is why we are in pain all the time. I need to get my pain out in the open. Face it and validate it. That is the only way I can be happy. Keeping it hidden keeps the abuse hidden and a secret. Holding all those feelings in is not healthy for any of us. We deserve to express our feelings and by doing so, it can stop depression and sadness.

Patty

By: Karla

Karla — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 10:32:02 +0000

wow that blog just spoke to me in so many ways . i find my self pressuring my self to heal like yesterday.
from my passed abuse . i want to pop myself into a micrwave and heal rights now from my passed . i find even family members saying stuff that thats the passed just get over it , what will be will be . i just cant heal that fast. my mothers been dead sents this passed march and i find myself in such a deep depression i cant find my way out of the dark hole . i feel so many mixed feeling about both of my parents death and i feel at times detached about my feeling about my mother .i just feel no one cared back when i was a child and the same is now i dont matter and i never did matter . i dont know how to snap out of this darkness called depression iam in . i find myself staying away from my family and the few friends i have i havent let my self really cry from losing something i never had to begin with a mother ,a mother that loved me like i love my daughter a mother to make all my pain go away a mother that never exsised in my life , even a grand mother i couldnt turn to her to kiss my pain away like a mother or grand mother should instead i got a grand mother that blamed me for the abuse i got when i got raped . i learned early in life i was on my own when it came to hidding the pain deep inside . it hurts to feel such aloneness . i try to turn to god , so many feel i need to be in church . i dont feel i can even turn to my chuch. i just feel so alone with my abuse and my friend named depression . i dont know if my feels are normal but my depression is so deep and dark . i havent gone to councling sents after may , i dont have insurance and now i dont quilty for the councling that was really helping me . so i try to blog . sorry iam all over the place with my coment .i just dont know ow to get threw this darkness its the darkness ive felted in a long time i hate feeling this way . i dont like the things i feel , so say a prayer for me . thanks karla