I write.
I am a singer/songwriter….I use my voice and my words to heal myself and hopefully one day others…
Would love to share one of my pieces…”Erased” come and download it for free.

http://apps.facebook.com/dtr_music/fulfilment/download/133384?dco=dtr_1298084524_7614038

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am slowly starting to write in a journal again (since I found this site and Emerging from Broken). But I still have to force myself to the page. A friend of mine sent me a journal cover that belonged to her sister. (she was very close to her sister and her sister died). I was so moved by the gift I felt “obligated” to use it…but it is a great obligation. I stumble and stop and start and feel like a fraud when I put words on the page. I have memories of some sexual molestation at the hands of my siblings (that I have NEVER written about). I also can feel something underneath that – perhaps pre-verbal abuse, too, who knows – something ugly and awful that I cannot name. It’s interesting. My mother ridiculed me for writing. Now she wants me to write so I can write the “Great American Novel” and support her. I don’t think she’d be encouraging me if she ever read some of the “mothers” I write when I do. I wonder sometimes if I refused to start writing again for so long because I didn’t want to ever do again something she encouraged me to do. God, my thinking is fucked up. I punish myself in order to punish her. It’s sickening.

I will keep trying to articulate what happened/is happening to me. Maybe I will find some relief. I am very happy to have found this site.

Thanks for responding to this blog!

Hugs and healing,
Libbe.

But here’s the thing: if the words are in your head, you can put them into a journal or a blog, and that is writing. Just tell the truth to yourself – that’s the only rule. Even what you wrote to me was/is writing. If you’re feeling stuck, write about feeling stuck. I worked myself out of a multi-year “writer’s block” (reaction to my mother’s negative statements and fear of the lurking truth I did not consciously know about at the time) by writing every morning about how afraid I was to write. By the time I finished, I’d written 4-6 pages about being afraid to write… except I’d written those pages, so I was writing. That was enough to prime my pump and get the words flowing onto a page.

So keep putting words onto a page, a screen, a blog, or just by staying in the conversation on this site. One word at a time, you’ll turn yourself into the writer you were meant to be. — Hugs and healing, Libbe.

I buried my writing voice – my truth – at a very young age. Even though I always wanted to be a writer. When my mother started to laugh at me for always carrying a notebook around and when she ridiculed me in front of her friends, I stopped. But I never stopped WANTING to write.

Now I am lost in my head. I wish I could use my writing as a tool for recovery. But so far it has been a tool for staying stuck.

Thanks for being in community with me. — Libbe.