Comments on: The Fear of Being Re-victimized

By: Lijesh

Lijesh — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 06:33:34 +0000

Mary,
You are strong and perfect,your goodness make ur life worth,.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 00:51:58 +0000

Mary,
I feel the same way about my family. I’m free and they aren’t. They have each other and I’m glad not to be a part of their sick, sick ways anymore. Yay for freedom!
Christina

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 00:47:46 +0000

Fear of Life,
My heart goes out to you. I know it’s not easy to face these things. I’m glad you know you’re not alone and I hope that you continue to read along here and participate and join us in the journey. It’s worth it!
Christina

By: Mary

Mary — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:06:22 +0000

It was my very real fear that my brother wanted to voilate me after I seperated from my husband and would have if I wasn’t protective. I felt vulnerable and frightened of him showing up. Especially after he had spent the night at my sister’s and she had gotten up in the middle of the night to him masturbating on her couch with a dirty magazine. He saw her and continued, he meant for her to see. I was not going to tolerate anymore and made it clear to my parents he was not to come around. They took tremendous offence to that, but I didn’t care. It was my home and I wanted my barriers. My siblings set up a discussion with them and it was to be for my benefit. That is the night the switch was flipped forever. Dad said how could I hurt my Mother this way, that I was out of the will and they were next. They told them they were worth 3 million that night, they blackmailed them. They got what they wanted, they all did. My siblings got the money and my parents through them continue to paint me as the blacksheep. Whatever makes them feel better I say. All the heartaches and pain I don’t regret turning my back on lies. It was a choice for me of live or die.
I came back to Mom after Dad died and we had some good moments. she helped me financially. She left in a ledger she wanted things equal and showed my son, she adored him and wouldn’t lie to him ever. Siblings deny it and followed the will my Dad made. I always felt their welcoming back was phoney by their actions and how things finished proved that. So it didn’t hurt as much the second time because my instinct protected my heart. I forgive them, they are ignorant even though they know better deep down, I won’t forget because they made a choice. I have wiped my hands of this family for the last time. Time for me, time for my own family that was dragged in by them and hurt in the process, but now it brings to light for them what I was confronting and explains to them better then I ever could why I went off the deep end. We are mending.
My sister called my daughter the other day and asked if I tried to call her. I said not possible she is fantasizing.
Just her way to try and bring up the subject to make it look legitimate,after my daughter had told her she was not to bring me up or else. Is she being haunted by her choices, I hope so, I hope they all are. They conscience should bother them for what they’ve done.
Money was more important 17 years ago when they went that night to speak in my defence only for all of them to line up against me when the threat of losing the inheritance came into it. If money wasn’t involved, if my Dad hadn’t pulled that trump card, they may have made my parents own up or at least respect my request to keep the perp brother away from me. Or they may have chosen to walk away from them too. and this is where I feel sorry for them. They are entertwined and wrapped up in the lies and are dysfunctional and toxic with one another. That will never change unless they get real, but for now hold fast like my parents do so they can keep doing what they are doing and justify it.
I deal in truth, I am becoming freer every day with every revelation. I feel only sorrow for family that wasn’t and for them being twisted up by evil.

By: FearOfLife

FearOfLife — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:05:41 +0000

I was abused sexually and emotionally from the age of 2 to 14. At 14 I finally stood up for myself. It was my biological father that did it. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and Severe Depression. Nighttime is the worst for me, I have trouble sleeping because of nightmares. I am afraid of them because they feel so real. I have trouble coming out of my bedroom sometimes, let alone going ANYWHERE. It’s been 28 years……I haven’t seen my father since. One of the problems is that part of me still loves him and wants to see him. Another part of me hates him and wants him to just disappear!! It’s confusing……..VERY confusing. My mind doesn’t know what to think because I have all this stuff swirling around in my brain. I am now 42 years old with 5 children and a husband. My father has ruined my life and, worse yet, affected my children, my husband now and my ex husband. Not to mention the rest of my family. I am on Celexa, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Last year we found out I have a hole in the main valve of my heart. At some point it is going to have to be repaired, right now I am just being monitered. They fear I could have a stroke, so they have me take an aspirin a day to help keep my blood flowing properly. So much is going on and I really don’t know how to handle it. Knowing I am not alone has helped me more than anything up to this point. Somehow I have to beat this. I just need to find my way. I think child molester should automatically get life in prison, bcause when a child is molested, part of that child is murdered. I so want to be a forensic photographer. But how can I do it if I am afraid to leave my house?

By: Ressurrection

Ressurrection — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 06:43:37 +0000

Awesome! I so appreciate this Facebook Page and Blog being made available.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 00:13:24 +0000

Stephanie,
Oh, that’s such an awful thing for him to do and say to you! I’m glad you’re getting away from him. You deserve to be treated better.
Christina

Wendy,
I can relate to trusting the wrong people. Actually, I discovered that it’s not that I actually trusted them, I just allowed myself to be vulnerable knowing I was going to get hurt. That’s not the same as trust. I kept telling myself it would be okay, as though I knew it wasn’t going to be okay.

I’m glad you’re working on your boundaries. You’re worth protecting!
Christina

By: ..wendy

..wendy — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 03:15:48 +0000

I am working on building boundaries. I have been revictimized. The most recent was an assault, rape. I could never figure out why I seemed to be targeted but now it’s starting to make sense. I also put up walls so as to not allow anyone to get too close to me, especially guys. It always seemed strange that I have
such a hard time trusting people that are worthy of my trust and then I turn around and trust those that abuse me. It is almost like I won’t allow good in my life, i try to sabatoge it somehow

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:46:58 +0000

This is my first time ever posting on the a board. I notice there are some very brave people to tell their story. As a child I was molested on an Air Force Base at the age of 7. I remember him telling me not to tell my parents or he would kill them. I never went to counseling and only my closet friends and husband knows. I have done well with my life for the most part. I reminded myself that I was not to blame and it is not my fault he is a sick person. I never let that hinder me and was lucky it only happened once. However, a month ago my husband who we are now getting a divorce and I am preparing to move. Felt it would be okay to grab me around my hip bones and pull me to him. My back was to his face. As he was hold me against him he was telling me how I like sex and no matter the what I would have sex with him. I was crying and screaming let me go I do not want you touching me much less have sex. I was struggling to get my things and away from him. Then he pulled up my red dress and groped my lady part and slapped me on my buttock. I been seeing someone and have flashback and still pretty jumpy. However, I place a military “no contact” order on him and he was removed from the house when I returned a couple days ago. I am getting my stuff and getting out as fast as I can. Now, I do not think I will ever wear a Red Dress again.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 13:18:10 +0000

Hurt Again,
Good for you for reporting that incident! What a great way to validate yourself. I’m so glad that you used such an awful experience to propel you forward. Thanks for letting us know.
Christina