Comments on: Is This Love That I’m Feeling?

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 16:50:21 +0000

Darlene,

. What do we know except that which was shown us? I even asked myself that question. Why did I do it their way? My only reasons were because I didn’t know I could do it my way. I think it is just as important to teach our kids the right way to love as well as teach them to find themselves and what they need in love and in life.

Thanks for your comment, I appreciate your encouragement. It means a lot to me.

By: Darlene Ouimet

Darlene Ouimet — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:22:12 +0000

Nice post Patty,
I ask myself about how I am being treated. Am I as valuable as the one that I am in the relationship? Is there mutuality ~ and respect? Is there a motive on either side? I had a false definition of love in the old days. I thought love was what I had grown up seeing in the relationships of others. My parents, my grandparents. (that was not what I know love is today) and mix some fantasitc hollywood romance in with the bad examples of “love” and that resulted in me chasing a fantasy with my low self esteem armed with a false definition of love.
Sorry my comment is coming in so late!
Hugs, Darlene

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:49:01 +0000

Jennifer, I love your list. It reminds me of how many said they loved me….. I called them friends….. now I call them acquaintances.

By: Jennifer Stuck

Jennifer Stuck — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:47:27 +0000

1. Where do I fall on this persons list of priorities?
2. Where do they fall on mine?
3. Would this person ever purposely hurt me in any way?
4. Beyond that…Do they try not to accidentally hurt me?
…5. When I come away from interacting with this person how do I feel?
6. Do I leave them feeling uplifted?

People throw the word love around and don’t respect it’s meaning. There are countless people that have told me they “love” me, but only a few that have truly shown it. I cherish those people in my life.

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:52:16 +0000

Laura, it makes absolute sense. I put my trust in many, and thought the one I trusted the most was it. He was the one who molested our children. I had to learn how to trust myself and listen to that inner voice of this is good, or this is a warning.

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:50:52 +0000

Christina, I love your list. Especially #5 and #6.

I was never treated as an equal. Always had to be put in my place and under them…. I fight real hard to keep my status now.

And the daily treatment…. wow. The only time I felt special was when we were in public… and that is sad. real sad.

I also gave my now husband a list of boundaries. I had to “double dog dare him” to make sure he would never abuse me.

By: laura

laura — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:32:17 +0000

The only love i thought i had left me for a man, further destroying any trust i may have had in him, i have had a couple of crushes but, they also crushed me, i am thinking i just don’t know what i want, sorry if this doesn’t make sense i a…m having one of those crazy days

By: Phil Dorsey

Phil Dorsey — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:26:50 +0000

Phil Dorsey The only thing that keeps popping into my head after reading this. Is about Mary. And I thought that I had had love before. But for the first time in my life.

I do not feel alone=)

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:05:37 +0000

Great question! These are the things I consider in any close relationship (friends included):

1. Does he/she listen to me? Does what I do, think, feel or want matter?
2. When he/she is making a decision that will affect me, does he/she take my feelings into consideration?
3. If I was in a serious situation, would he/she get out of his/her comfort zone enough to help me?
4. Does he/she know my weaknesses, but not define me by them?
5. Does he/she consider me and treat me as an equal?
6. Is his/her daily treatment of me consistent with the special occasion treatment?
7. Is he/she genuinely happy when something good happens to me?
8. Does he/she respect my boundaries even when they conflict with his/her desires?

By: Patty Hite

Patty Hite — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:36:36 +0000

I asked myself… Does he fulfill what I believe to be the example of Gods love for me?

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

And I needed to make sure that I felt the same toward him. Can I fulfill God’s love for him?