Comments on: What If My Family Rejects Me? Part 1

By: tsar

tsar — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 11:12:03 +0000

This was incredibly helpful and insightful.

By: Meghan

Meghan — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 17:21:03 +0000

I recently went through a devastating divorce, and somwhere along this road felt it was time to disclose repeated sexual abuse perpetrated my my mother’s father when I was just a small girl. No one believed me. My female family members insisted I was lying, or had been over-medicated due to major depression and that this caused false memories. This, of course, was not the case at all. Childhood friends knew all about it. I wasn’t medicated back then. I was told terrible things about myself, but the worst was that I had lied. What could possibly be my motive? People who may never have experienced childhood abuse may have no concept whatsoever about how debilitating and ruinous it truly is. It destroys trust in those who are adults and caretakers. Some say I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn’t, and now I feel even more depression and betrayal. My parents say I am living in the past…just get over it, and look toward the future. While part of that is valid advice, victims must go on somehow, total rejection of your child is not acceptable. Abuse is a shameful topic to most people. Sadly, my admission resulted in the total and complete alienation of my family. Right now, I do not know for sure if there is ever any healing from this kind of abuse. It’s bad enough to have to have gone through it, but then to be disbelieved and ostrocized is just as criminal as the abuse. Thankfully, I found this site, and it has offered some comfort. I pray every single day that someday I will feel better about this whole situation.

By: Bethany Ruck

Bethany Ruck — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:20:01 +0000

Kelly, I’m sorry your family treated you like. But I’m glad OSA could be of help to you.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:18:06 +0000

Kelly,
I’m sorry for how your mother treated you, but I’m glad you know you’re not alone in this. My mother’s rejection really took me by surprise. I had this idea that I came from a loving family so I wasn’t prepared for that at all. When I looked back, I started to see our relationship for what it was. I saw that she was acting the way she always had. It’s been a painful journey to grieve what I never had, but I’m so glad to see the truth now and to be free of that sick system.
Christina

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 17:59:09 +0000

I found this site after being told by my mother that, “They were having a 60th Anniversary party but I didn’t need to come because I would just be uncomfortable.” Reading that others have experienced the same situations makes me feel less alone. Thanks to all those that have shared.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 23:47:50 +0000

Patty S–I’m so delighted that this resonated with you. Thanks for your encouraging comment! Christina

By: Patty S

Patty S — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 00:07:57 +0000

Such a gift this is! Every word. “Survivor?” Yes. “Chooser?” Definitely! What an empowering concept! You are just wonderful! Thank you all for bringing light to my path! Really, thank you!

By: Fi MacLeod exNicholson

Fi MacLeod exNicholson — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 18:46:42 +0000

My family totally rejected and disowned me when they realised I was seeking to escape the family home and no longer be their personal punch bags. I was the family member sacrificed to keep the incest secret. But I choose to be quiet no more and to get my life back somehow!!

By: carol

carol — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 05:48:47 +0000

hi christina,
yep seems like i had stalled becasue i couldnt see how to get ovr some of the family barriers yet reading OSA and darlenes EFB has helped me lots. it gave my head somethings to sort out, accept that it was ok to let go of the relationships that aint workin n not feel guilty about puttin my thoughts n feeling 1st. so yeah im lookin out for myself a bit more now. strange really

By: osa

osa — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:22:28 +0000

Amaryllis,
I’m so delighted to know how helpful this blog is to you! This comment of yours made my cry, “I loved this post in that it gives me great comfort in knowing that if I’m not ready to engage in a fake relationship – then I don’t have to. My sisters expect me to have relationship with them, as long as I don’t talk about our mother or the abuse, to have a good time with them pretending like nothing is wrong. I told them that I cannot pretend. Maybe they can, but I can’t. This post was most empowering for me…” I’m so grateful to be able to share things that empower others. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hugs, Christina