Comments on: How To Support a Survivor of Sexual Abuse

By: My Sexual Abuse Invaded My Marriage - Overcoming Sexual Abuse

My Sexual Abuse Invaded My Marriage - Overcoming Sexual Abuse — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:32:46 +0000

[...] Related Posts: Dating After Sexual Abuse: Is This Love? How To Support A Survivor of Sexual Abuse [...]

By: What If My Family Rejects Me? Part 2 - Overcoming Sexual Abuse

What If My Family Rejects Me? Part 2 - Overcoming Sexual Abuse — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:19:20 +0000

[...] Now I’m surrounded by my Family-of-Choice. Most of my friends have been wonderfully supportive, even if they don’t quite understand it all. I communicate my needs to the friends who want to support my healing process. For examples of specific needs, “How To Support A Survivor of Sexual Abuse”. [...]

By: Mandy Ross

Mandy Ross — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:18:09 +0000

I know for me talking to others about my abuse has been very difficult but empowering. I have noticed that it is a topic where people don’t know what to say or some think there is an easy fix. What I find myself reminding people that this is a life journey. It is a learning process that will continue and that while it is very difficult at times, it… See More is how I progress and move forward and take what I learn and use it for good and the positive as much as I can. There will be bad days especially at the start but I don’t need someone to “fix” me, I need a friend someone who can just be there for me to lean on and say they support me no matter what! Those people can be hard to find but well worth the search and reaching out to…

By: Laura Bahnmiller

Laura Bahnmiller — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:17:37 +0000

Last comment, promise. For females it’s different. Most females who don’t get help usually don’t abuse someone else. They end up in unhealthy relationships and sometimes they marry someone just like their abuser and the cycle starts all over with their children. I don’t want that to be me!

By: Laura Bahnmiller

Laura Bahnmiller — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:17:02 +0000

I would also like to add that I like 13. Even though I am very new in the healing process I know it is worth pointing out the serious consequences involved when one doesn’t deal with sexual abuse. My abuser was sexually abused as a child. He never got help and he did it to someone else.

By: Laura Bahnmiller

Laura Bahnmiller — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:16:29 +0000

Wow! I sure wish I could persuade some of the people in my life to read this. This is great!!!
I have just recently decided to face what happened to me all those years ago. And of course it was just recently that I told pretty much everyone (with the exception of maybe a couple of people and I have not confronted my abuser). Everyone says they “… See Morebelieve me”. What I have found though is that there are not many people in my life that want to continue talking about it. The only people who are willing is my therapist, my friend John and my aunt Laura who I don’t see very often. It’s too awkward for everyone else I guess. Which of course makes it awkward for me as well. I have still not found a way to accept that (I can’t force them to want to talk about it) while trying to heal at the same time. Most people want you to just shut up about it. I may be wrong but this is what I have run into in my experience so far
I did tell my mom that it was happening. She asked my abuser, he denied it and she believed him. I think I was 11 then. In third grade I did try to tell my teacher. She did not believe me. After that I never said another word about it to anyone until just eight months ago. I will be 30 this October.

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:16:00 +0000

Rachel, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this whenever you’re ready.

By: MsRachel E Milano

MsRachel E Milano — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:15:43 +0000

Boy… I would love to add to this… lol… it’s so tempting… but I must be obedient to myself and take a break… maybe in a few days if it’s ok Christina… I could add some thoughts to this?…

Love and life remain within…
~REM

By: Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:15:17 +0000

Marin, I can identify with your feelings about hating the abuser. I friend of mine kept her abuser-uncle in her life and continued to seek his favor even though he was really mean to her. I hated that he was getting away with what he had done and what he was doing and I also hated that he was a continual source of pain for her.

I said awful … See Morethings about him and one day she exploded in anger toward me. She was mad that I didn’t understand that she loved him and felt so conflicted. She felt like I was trying to control her healing process. While I don’t think having my own feelings about her abuser was at all controlling on my part, expressing them to her was my attempt to tell her how she should feel about him.

I stopped bashing him and a few months later she got to the place where she was enraged toward him. Even then, I was careful what I said.

It’s normal to be angry toward someone who hurts somebody you care about. Accept your feelings toward that person, but don’t express them around the survivor. Have a support person for yourself that you can share your own feelings about the abuse with so you are taken care of too.

By: Shelly Henderson

Shelly Henderson — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:14:50 +0000

Ty 4 sharing this…I am going to send it to a friend of mine…We met about a month ago or so and I have told her I was abuse/raped…I think this will help her in helping me and what not…