My Journey From Devastation to Restoration After Sexual Abuse
I’d finally hit bottom. There was nowhere else to go. The reality I didn’t want to face was now in my face. I’d spent the best part of ten years running away from the pain of my sexual abuse. Finally, at twenty-two years old, my past caught up with me when I had a nervous breakdown and ended up being hospitalised.
It was a succession of bad events and years of avoiding my past that left me at my lowest ebb. My sister told me that she had found suggestive pictures of my mum, dad and nan. I felt sick to my stomach. This revelation made me feel like I was part of some sick child abuse ring and confirmed all my worst fears that they had known all along what my dad was doing. That same week, someone sent me a card on my birthday saying very derogatory things. It was malicious and sent me into a deep depression.
I could not cope and felt worthless. I ended up cutting myself very badly. I just wanted to die. I wanted the pain to go away.
I thought I was a bad person to have ended up being hospitalised. What had I done to deserve this?
When An Abuser Dies
by Christina Enevoldsen & Bethany Bethany: A few months ago, I got word from a family member that my paternal grandmother was found unconscious in the middle of the night and rushed to the hospital. She had suffered a brain hemorrhage and was on a ventilator as her heart rate began to slow. The doctors [...]
Dysfunctional Family Holiday Survival Tips
by Christina Enevoldsen with Bethany When I remember holidays with my family, I think of stress. The image that comes to mind is everyone else laughing and having a great time, while I was miserable. I don’t remember many holidays as a child, but as an adult, holidays used to be times of emotional abuse [...]
The Fear of Being Re-victimized
by Christina Enevoldsen & Bethany Childhood sexual abuse often leaves the survivor vulnerable to more abuse and afraid of being victimized again. In this ten minute audio discussion, Christina Enevoldsen and Bethany share how they turn their violations in adulthood into tools for healing. “I had the belief that if I defended myself, I’ll get [...]