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Taking Back My Life After Abuse

Fort Stevens State Park, Oregon

by Christina Enevoldsen

New Year’s Day is traditionally a time for a fresh start. There are the usual resolutions and goals that everyone seems optimistic about—the eagerness to leave behind the old and to embrace the new and improved.

Until the recent few years, imagining or planning what I wanted to accomplish for the coming year seemed impossible. When I tried to envision a future for myself, it was dark and hidden. It felt presumptuous to say I could or would work toward a particular outcome.

The control I had over my life was limited to how I would adapt to the disaster I knew was coming. I’d be ready when the rug was pulled out from under me. I became an expert at “making the best of a bad situation” and “going with the flow.”

By the time I married Don almost ten years ago, I’d started to end some of my abusive relationships but I was still feeling and deciding and acting out of the beliefs that I had as an abuse victim. In the first few months of our marriage, we had a horrible fight that ended with me slamming the bedroom door and shouting, “I WON’T LET YOU BULLY ME!”

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Christina's Blog

Taking Back My Life After Abuse

by Christina Enevoldsen New Year’s Day is traditionally a time for a fresh start. There are the usual resolutions and goals ...

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Diablog–Multi-Person Blog

When An Abuser Dies

by Christina Enevoldsen & Bethany Bethany: A few months ago, I got word from a family member that my paternal grandmother was found unconscious in the middle of the night and rushed to the hospital. She had suffered a brain hemorrhage and was on a ventilator as her heart rate began to slow. The doctors […]

Articles

Dysfunctional Family Holiday Survival Tips

by Christina Enevoldsen with Bethany When I remember holidays with my family, I think of stress. The image that comes to mind is everyone else laughing and having a great time, while I was miserable. I don’t remember many holidays as a child, but as an adult, holidays used to be times of emotional abuse […]

Truth Talks–10 Minute Audio

The Fear of Being Re-victimized

by Christina Enevoldsen & Bethany Childhood sexual abuse often leaves the survivor vulnerable to more abuse and afraid of being victimized again. In this ten minute audio discussion, Christina Enevoldsen and Bethany share how they turn their violations in adulthood into tools for healing. “I had the belief that if I defended myself, I’ll get […]

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